Key Lesson: Here’s the real reason why talking to yourself about what you resent in someone, or otherwise resist about some event is so exhausting: it’s very hard work to make something (so big) out of what really amounts to nothing.
step back from suffering feelings
There is a kind of “evil spell” hanging over each of us, and our world as well. In fact, part of this global spell is our denial of its existence. It is called suffering. Everyone does it — believing that their suffering somehow benefits them. That’s how the spell works. Why else would anyone punish themself with unhappy feelings unless they had been tricked into somehow perceiving self-hurt as self-help?
Truth wants you to know that it is never in your best interest to unconsciously suffer, no matter how inwardly convincing it may feel to you that you will be betraying yourself or someone else if you don’t. The only way that any suffering feeling can prove to you that you need it is to hypnotize you with a flood of itself. Step back from yourself. Learn instead to listen to the quiet stream of higher insight that runs softly through your true nature. It sees through sorrow. Let it show you that suffering proves nothing. If you want to receive some special help for helping yourself escape yourself, always remember this key question: “If I am doing what I want to do, then how come it hurts me to do it?” The truth guarantees you will stop doing what you don’t want to do once you know what you have been doing against yourself.
Here are seven powerful ways to snap the spell of suffering. As you read over each one, think about how you can use its insight the next time you are about to be washed away by any flood of painful thoughts or feelings. Welcome their higher influence into your life.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that you know what it means to care about yourself or others. What it does prove is you haven’t seen through your own ideas about caring or you wouldn’t be so careless with yourself.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that you are right. What it does prove is you don’t really know right from wrong or you wouldn’t take your position of pain as your proof of point.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that you are responsible. What it does prove is you have abandoned true self-responsibility or you wouldn’t treat yourself so badly.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that you are important. What it does prove is you would rather feel like a “someone” who is miserable than be a “no one” who is free and quietly happy.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that you are all alone in life. What it does prove is you prefer the company of unfriendly thoughts and feelings whose very nature is to isolate you from everything good.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that the world is against you. What it does prove is you have taken sides with that which is against everything — including yourself.
- Suffering doesn’t prove that someone else is wrong. What it does prove is you will go to any lengths, including self-destruction, to prove that you are right.
This article is excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go (pages 165-168).
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